Making the Mindset Shifts with Carla Reeves

Jillian

Hi, Carla. How are you doing today?

Carla

So great. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to have this conversation with you.

Jillian

Yes, me too. Thank you so much for being on today. And I always feel the best way to get started is to let the listeners know who who you are and what do you bring to this world?

Carla

Gosh, that's a big question. Yeah. So I am an entrepreneur. I've been an entrepreneursh, may be forever, but officially since like 2003, four ish was kind of my first venture. I'm a mom. I have two now grown sons who are 18 and 20, married, live in Arizona, kind of in a not here. So typical Arizona living. We live kind of on a farm with animals and things like that. So very different. And I have been gosh on a mission to really create possibility and help people to not feel trapped by their circumstances. And that really comes from my own personal story. So I don't know if you wanted me to dive into that now, but that's the work that I do in the world, and it's truly just an honor to be able to do this work in the world. I feel like it was just been in my heart for maybe since I was born, and so I felt honored to get to do that work today.

Jillian

Yeah, I would definitely love to hear your story about a farm in Arizona, because when I think of Arizona, I'm like desert, no grass anywhere.

Carla

I know. We live on irrigated properties, so we have just over four acres. And my husband lived here before I met him. And we've had gosh horses and cows, and we have people that lease the pasture. We've had chickens. And so, yes, it's very non traditional Arizona living, but we love it. It's a great place to raise boys.

Jillian

Yes, it's awesome. So I would love to start with a little bit of your story and how that works into how you yourself create some work life balance with your farm and your kids and just life in general.

Carla

Yeah. So it all kind of started with my own story. I was one of those really who my client is today is really kind of hyperachieving glued to my to do list and spent half my life really trying to check those boxes that I thought were going to lead to that happy, successful life. And I checked a lot of those boxes and realized that while everything on the outside looked good on paper, I was empty inside. And that was a huge pivot point in my life and really a turning point to trying to figure out I knew in my heart there had to be a different way of doing life that wasn't all about just working harder and doing more and being better and pleasing others and making it all look good on the outside. And I really made it my mission first to figure that out in my own life and was introduced to really great tools and resources to start to pay less attention to the outside and what I was doing and more attention on the inside to what I was thinking and how it was behaving. Because a lot of that was tied to what I call now, like your old survival way of living. And even no matter how hard I worked, I wasn't creating the results in my life that I wanted. And it really took digging on the inside to figure that out. And so that sort of pivot point in my own life is what allowed me to start to steer the ship differently from like it's not about this achievement, achievement, achievement. And how do we figure out how to create a fulfilling life here and now while we're also still want to achieve and be reaching towards goals, but not putting our life up till someday?

Jillian

Yes, I relate to that so much. You checked all the boxes. You went to college, you got the job. And I was like, Why am I not happy? Then I did everything I was supposed to do. Why am I miserable and living for the little slice of weekend that I got to actually do things I wanted to do? So I think a lot of people can relate to that. So as entrepreneurs, I think it's really hard to shut our brains off, especially when it comes to time with our family and time away. My office is in my bedroom now, and it's like, right there all the time. So trying to shut off that brain because we obviously care about our businesses, and it's on our brain 24/7. So how can we create those boundaries between work and life?

Carla

Yeah, and I focus less on boundaries and more on really learning to change the relationship with your thinking and your mind and learning to think about our life. Like, as entrepreneurs, we know how to create success in our business world, right. So that's where we're comfortable. And so we do spend a lot of time there, and we're passionate about it. And so our brain naturally spends a lot of time there. But for the people I know that I work with and myself in my own life. I also had these other priorities that were kind of eating away at me because my energy, my mental energy, physical energy was kind of lopsided into my business. And I wasn't spending the quality of time that I wanted to be on my marriage or with my kids and all of that. And so it's those priorities that were out of alignment that really had me want to look at how can I do this differently? And so I think one of the places is to look is how is your mind wreaking havoc on you and causing you? Like, as entrepreneurs, we don't necessarily have more time. And so I like, to look at, what can we eliminate that could free up more time? And our minds are spending a lot of time spinning and causing us to behave in ways that maybe are outdated and no longer useful. And so I like to work in those places to help people find and harness time and energy that they didn't know they have and that can look like, you know, maybe we have this kind of built in system that has us always needing to please others or make everybody else happy right. Which causes us to commit to things that we don't really need to be committing to that take us away from the things that are really important. So I feel like there's treasure and loads amount of time and energy we can harness if we're willing to be courageous and kind of look at those places.

Jillian

That's a really interesting way to look at it. Yes, I love that. So I feel like because of everything you just said, we kind of feel like we're in survival, like just going from one thing to the next to the next and trying to make it through the day before we crash in bed at night. So do you have like your, I don't know, number one tip or best tip? It can be anytime, actually, for starting to find our way out of that.

Carla

Yeah. So for me, journaling writing, whatever you want to call it is writing is a really incredible tool for one just kind of harnessing your mind instead of running you like you're really starting to be able to lead it. One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever got was don't believe everything you think. And so, as a hyper achiever, our brain is constantly or for me, it was like a monster on my shoulder constantly telling me, you need to be working, you need to be working, you need to be working. And I had to start challenging that voice in my head and say, wait a minute, do I really like, let me really look and discern? Do I need to be working? And that alone just kind of starting to challenge your own thinking is a really powerful way to just take back the lead of your life. This bully in your head doesn't run your life, you do. And so writing is a great way to pay attention to your thinking and really start to look, what am I allowing to run in my head all day long? Is it lifting me up or is it dragging me down and holding me back? So, writing is a great tool and it's a great way to start your day and even end your day and just emptying some of the mental trash on a daily basis is really powerful.

Jillian

Yes, I journal every morning. It really helps to kind of like a brain dump, just get everything out. But I completely understand what you're saying. When I left my corporate job and I would take a break between nine to five to just take a break. I would feel so guilty. I'd be like, I'm supposed to be working. Like, this little voice is telling me, no, you work during this time, so it's really hard to switch your mindset.

Carla

That guilty feeling is something that comes up all the time and it's something that I dealt with for years. And I'm happy to say that it is possible to really quiet, almost silence that voice. And I think as women, we really have to challenge it and let it instead of letting it just kind of run us. And like I was saying, bully you around, just shine a light. I think guilt can be a great messenger sometimes. It might be telling you, like, you know, maybe you do need to spend a little more time over here with your kids. And it doesn't always mean quantity, it might just be the quality of time, you know, or most often that guilt voice is just an old habit that honestly doesn't serve you. And if you can shine a light on it, it's not as scary as it feels. And you might just, like, look at it and say, do I really need to feel guilty here? And then to really discern for yourself and make a choice instead of it just autopilot making you feel terrible. We don't have time or energy to waste as entrepreneurs, so that's one place we can start to take our power back.

Jillian

Yes, definitely not. Just taking that pause and thinking, why am I feeling this way?

Carla

Are you real? Is that what's even real?

Jillian

Yes. I love that. Yes. So you and yourself have a podcast called Differently and it talks about building a life differently, which is a great title. So why did you decide to start a podcast?

Carla

Yeah, so it's funny because I never thought I would have a podcast. It wasn't even in my vision at all. I was actually talking to a client one day and I was asking her just some questions. She'd been working with me for a while and I was asking her kind of just from her vantage point, like, what she saw and how I could tell my stories better and really honor the work that I do with people and share it. And she said, I think you should have a podcast. And initially I was like, no way. No way would I ever have a podcast. I mean, confidence has been an issue for me from the time I was a little girl. And while I've done a lot of speaking over the years, I never wanted to speak. I just have a mission or a vision inside of a message inside of me that I feel called to share. She said that and I dismissed it. And then that seed kind of like, started just germinating, I guess. And I started thinking about, like, what if I did have a podcast, and I do all of my coaching work over the phone. It's kind of this natural extension of what I already do and that it just started to grow. And I thought about first having one with my husband because that was kind of more comfortable to co host something. And then I really just started to think, what if I did? And what if I could get myself equipped? Because it felt really the project felt really big, right. Like, how do you even do that? And I took a course to kind of learn those pieces and then it just started to come together. And honestly, it's been one of the greatest joys of my business journey thus far. I absolutely love it.

Jillian

Yes. And I feel like with your clientele, that, like, busy entrepreneurs, it's so easy just to stick it in their ears and do the dishes, the laundry while you're doing that. Yes. It's my favorite way to learn because I can multitask.

Carla

I love it.

Jillian

Yes. So how has your podcast been able to support or grow your business?

Carla

Yeah, so I think I'm still definitely in the growth stage of my podcast, but I think for right now, it's a tool for my clients. So it's become like this knowledge base for my body of work that I can point my clients to and where they can deepen the work that we're doing together. And that was really one of my intentions, was to kind of build this body of work, but it's also starting to touch people that I necessarily would have never crossed paths with. And that was my other intention, was not everyone's going to have a coach. Not everybody wants to have a coach. But how can I share this important message and reach people that will never do coaching? And it's starting to do that and seeing it, and I mean, I've met so many great people having guests on, right? So it's expanded my network in that way, and it's brought in clients who they get to kind of, I guess, learn more about you before they ever engage with you, and they get a sense of who you are, they get a sense of how you work and how you think. And it's kind of a natural extension of like, oh, I want to know more. So it's been that too.

Jillian

Yes, definitely. I have hired a coach. From listening to her podcast and just getting to know her and all the value she gave, I was like, wow, she's giving me all this value for free. Like, I can't imagine what she'll do on my thing.

Carla

Right.

Jillian

Definitely a great way to build that and trust.

Carla

And I think initially it was kind of a step in my own journey that I felt like I had to take to. And I know this is part of your mission is, like, just to share my voice in a bigger way and be courageous and get out of my own comfort zone for the sake of impacting more people.

Jillian

Yes. That's why I started mine, too. I was hiding behind doing everybody else's podcast. I'm like trying to put myself out there.

Carla

Exactly.

Jillian

Well, this has been such a great conversation. Thank you so much for being on today. Can you tell the listeners how they can connect with you more? Because I know they're going to want to.

Carla

Yeah. So my website is Carla Reeves. You can find me on Instagram and LinkedIn at Carla S. Reeves. And then the podcast on your favorite podcast player is differently.

Jillian

I would definitely have all those links in the show notes. Thank you again so much for bringing so much value and making me have those little mindset shifts that now I'm going to think, when have that guilty feeling, I am going to pause and be like, wait a minute. Good.

Carla

I love that. Thank you so much for having me.